Making New Memories

My Mother is the only Mother still living among my friends and myself. My Sister and I have very close friendships with several people we grew up with. All of them have lost their parents. We lost our Father last year. Mom is the only parent we all still have. We celebrated Mother's Day with them yesterday. Mom had a great time. She messed around with our menu a bit, but we expected that. 8-) We try to make new memories all the time. Mom is very active and supports many organizations. Whenever there is a fund raiser, banquet or any type of function really - she wants to be a part of it. I think it is important and wonderful that she is able to make new memories. I don't always feel up to all of the socializing she enjoys, but I feel a need to support her as much as possible.

What's For Dinner

My Mother has been cooking since she was 5 years old.  She would roll out the biscuits and put them in a pan.  She would help with baking on weekends.  As an adult, my Mother had a catering business.  In the last year or two my Mother has been unable to process some of her recipes.  Mom was the type of cook that knew most of her recipes by heart and never wrote down ingredients or measurements.  After a few cooking disasters she started using her written recipes again.  Recently even using the written recipes, Mom gets some of the ingredients wrong or forgets elements of the recipe.  I can see how much this frustrates her.

We plan our meals weekly and daily.  We discuss what we will have so groceries can be shopped for and ingredients checked.  Mom still has some days that what we planned gets forgotten.  A few weeks ago she cooked roasts three days in a row.  I can only describe it as a needle getting stuck in a record.  She knew she wanted to cook a roast, she just did not remember having cooked one on the previous day.  Several times a day she will ask me what's for dinner.  I will repeat our plan to her each time.  I have been cooking more and more lately, but that bothers her as well.  The kitchen is her domain.  Mom is determined to keep doing all of her regular tasks and routines as long as possible.  I want to encourage that, for as long as possible.

Locked? Unlocked?

My Mother has lived in this house for 16 years.  Our front door has a deadbolt that is engaged when in the horizontal position.  There have been some days that I noticed the deadbolt unlocked; in a vertical position.  On one such occasion I asked my Mother if she was expecting someone.  She said "no why?".   I told her that the front door was unlocked.  She had gotten the newspaper from the front porch and left the door unlocked.  I dismissed it, thinking she just forgot.  The next time I noticed it and asked why the door was unlocked, she said it wasn't unlocked.  That the door lock has always been in a vertical position.  She was convinced that I was wrong and turning the deadbolt the wrong direction.  It is like she has created a new memory of how the lock works.

I now do a walk through each night after she goes to bed.  I make sure all doors are secured and properly locked.  I have found the door to the garage door ajar and the front door unlocked once or twice.  It is not a regular thing, but I regularly check the doors every night to be sure we are secure.

The Forgotten Child

Welcome to my Lost Yesterdays Blog.  I plan to share my experiences with a parent who has Alzheimer's.  My Mother is in the second stage of the disease and I feel like I lose more of her every day.  I also feel like she forgets more and more about me every day.

My Mother used to be the type of person who only sees good in others.  She would even make excuses for people when they would be rude or disruptive.  My Mother now sees conspiracies and plots everywhere.  Her mind creates scenarios and "new" memories all the time.

The reason this post is titled forgotten child is because more and more often my Mother forgets seeing me and speaking to me.  We share a house so we are together every day.  My office and hobbies are all located upstairs.  My Mother watches television and does her word search puzzles while snuggling with the dog on the couch downstairs.  Several times per day I will go downstairs and chat with my Mother.  She never remembers our conversations.  Every time I go downstairs she thinks she is seeing me for the first time at that point in the day.  Before I realized it was Alzhimer's Disease attacking her mind I would get frustrated.  I kept thinking, "why can't she remember what we had planned for dinner - we just talked about it."  She also has a tendency to say "I was talking to someone and they said [fill in the statement]."  She will be telling me about something "I" said to her in a previous conversation.  However, she does not connect me to the conversation.  It saddens me and sometimes scares me to see the vacant look in her eyes.  What is worse is, I know her mind will continue to deteriorate even further.

If you have had similar experiences, please feel free to comment below.